Omaha... somewhere in middle America!

Any town with a Counting Crows song is good in my book... I have a feeling that Omaha is going to be great.

I am getting so excited that I can't focus (hence this blog). It amazes me how once you know you are going to see people you have not seen in what seems like forever, your thoughts return to another time. Those 4 years in Spokane at times seem like a distant memory. I think I put them there because there is so much longing I still have for that life, those people, and the memories just make me wish for them again.

It also brings tears to my eyes already to think of Tori walking down through those church doors. Not so long ago we were across the hall mates on our first day of college, scared to let go of our mommies and excited for freedom. Now we are women, married, moved, changed, but we still need our mommies, and now we need each other, too. There is nothing more powerful that female friendship, I honestly believe that. Last night I tried on my bridesmaid's dress and all I could think was how blessed I am to stand up and be a witness to two amazing people's marriage. How a 30 years from now when that dress will no long stretch over my hips, and our faces are covered in lines, we will still be standing up witnessing each other's big and small moments.

So here I go... off to Omaha... on a really killer adventure!

Being a grown-up is OVERRATED!

We have spent the past four months battling our desire to buy a house. Then about three weeks ago we decided... why go the easy way... let's BUILD a house.

note: we were not actually going to be the builders... but you get the point.

Then, as He often does, God gave us a big fat roadblock. We had done the 'good Christian thing' and decided to 'pray about it' but sometimes, when God answers my prayers with a NO I get really pissed. I mean 'pray about it' means God should give me what I WANT.

so... after all of the research, meetings {with builders, real estate agents, and mortgage brokers} we are NOT buying a house.

and I am SO RELIEVED.

I was not ready to be that grown up. Buying a house was what the world seemed to be telling me was the right thing to do. It meant we were serious about being here (everyone's reaction to us saying we were buying was "so you're really going to be here a while") like moving from Hawaii to Virginia away from everyone we love wasn't serious enough.

I don't want all my money to go to a mortgage. I like stupid stuff. I like vacation. I like pretty dresses for Tori's rehearsal dinner (ooops... Anthropology is really great and expensive!). I like going out to dinner. I like babies. I want one sometime in the near future and hear they are pretty pricey.

So I've once again (for the millionth time) discovered that being grown up is OVERRATED!

We are looking at an awesome rental on 2.5 acres. 3 bedrooms, check, renovated, check, fireplace, check. So come July this could be where you visit us!

Remember Me

I began Holy Week worrying about getting everything organized on my rather long 'to do' list.

I love to-do lists and they keep me focused, plus, crossing something off always gives me a slight thrill. Those who knew me as an over scheduled 9th grader will remember those lists in my St. Andrew's Priory school assignment tablet. In college they moved to a lime green leather organizer. Once I became a teacher one of the first study tools I gave my students was a stack of post-it notes. They made their to-do lists daily.

Holy Week's to-do list is sitting in front of me as I type... it looks like this...

Note: the small post-it is the beginning of my to-do list for next week of things I 'can't forget'

A Holy Week to-do-list is a great tool but really, it is NOT making my Holy Week holy... One of my 'to-dos' today was to paint a sheet for the children's Good Friday Service (shameless plug... be there Friday at 5:30pm!) with the words REMEMBER ME. As I did this I took some time to pray for my youth, especially the ones who will be leading this service, as well as for the children who will attend. As I sat there... praying that this experience is life-giving for all involved I looked at what I was writing... God has a way of giving us signs... and since I can be such a control freak apparently he let me create my own. I stood back to look at my accomplishment (one more thing to check off the list) and I saw this:

check. This week may include to-do-lists but it is about an amazing man who died for me. He died so that I could live. He died so that no matter how many times I forget to remember Him, no matter how many times I don't do enough, don't say the right thing, don't get it right, I am forgiven and loved.

snow strom rediculousness

We are fully aware that driving when the state tells you the roads are too dangerous is a bad idea.

Fully aware. We just feel like it's a waste of awesomeness.

{note that we do both have 4 wheel drive so we are not out there like complete idiots, only partial}

Today's adventure was traveling all over central Virginia to look at houses we may or may not be interested in buying because we may or may not be adult enough to buy a house and may or may not be willing to commit to anything that big.

Since it is two days before payday we had to pay for our fuel with quarters.

{which Jay made me do alone in the gas station because he thinks paying for things with quarters is embarassing, I think it's just helpful to stores by giving them lots of useful change}

{our idea of fuel}

We then looked at a foreclosed house that we had trouble getting to because county workers had blocked the road to apparently have a snowfight... I am happy they love their jobs. Jay may not be.

{not so excited Jay}

But thankfully our round-about trip let us see some of God's awesomeness... trees in C'ville are nothing like trees in the Pacific Northwest... they are NOT used to this snow so they are really struggling.

{Beautifully struggling tree}

Once we finally arrived at the perfect foreclosed house we realized it was directly under 64 (the interstate) and across from a chemical waste facility. We decided kids have enough stacked against them these days and we wouldn't do that to our future children, so we turned around only to get stuck behind 3 cars/farm trucks/idiots {unlike us} who were driving in the snow. It seemed like a disaster until our savior came...

{beautiful John Deer man}

So after more hours than I would like to admit we found some beautiful houses but more than that we found some beautiful Virginia.

{a good day.}

Surprise.

The past couple of months have been full of surprises, many of them centered around snow, many of them involving cancelling events that I was so excited to share with my youth: Christmas caroling, tubing, breakfasts, Crave, and even events we'd planned for Sunday mornings. As I sat down in my office yesterday, frustrated, disheartened, and just plain fed up with the amount of to-dos and cancellations. Then I got an email from a parent. God has a way of letting you think you are going somewhere to do good and it is those you are 'serving' that replenish you.

It was some meditations she had had on the snow, on how Christ had given us this bounty of precipitation to replenish our land and give us TIME. Time to be with God, time to be with the people God has given us to share our lives with. It was my ah-ha moment. Jay reminds me often of my need for constant 'stimulation' as he calls it. I am either going, getting ready to go, or gone. I am at the gym, at church, with the kids, walking the dogs, on the computer, or on the phone. I've even found myself being one of 'those people' checking my email at stop lights.

How does that bring glory to God?

My need to be connected often leaves me disconnected from the one thing that is important. Maybe it really was me that brought the snow, it was God telling me: EMILY... SLOW DOWN ALREADY! The gym is closed, your car is stuck, your electricity is off. The material is not an option right now, but you do have your husband, your dogs, and lots and lots of snow to walk through. That is exactly what we did.

I am still figuring out this 'being a youth minister' thing. I am still figuring out a lot of things in my life. My mom has always told me that your 20's are about adventures and discovering. This week I have discovered that I need to spend more time stopping and less time going. I need to listen to that still small voice and to do that, I need to turn a lot of other things off for a while.

I moved across the country to be here, in this place, right now, because I know that this is where Christ wants me. I am here to let my lifesong sing to Christ and show my youth how to do the same. I think that may mean not checking my email at stoplights. It may mean slowing down and listening to what else God has in store for me.

The Journey

It amazes me that it is already Christmas, it seems like only moments ago that I was boarding a plane to move to Charlottesville and become a youth minister. The past three months have felt like a second and an eternity at the same time.

There is nothing like the unknown.

I have begun to read an amazing book by Rob Bell, a pastor in Michigan, who has a fresh and insightful way of writing about following Christ. He writes in the first chapter of his book Velvet Elvis,

"Central to the Christian experience is the art of questioning God. Not belligerent, arrogant questions that have no respect for our maker, but naked, honest, vulnerable, raw questions arising out of the awe that comes from engaging with the living God.

This type of questioning frees us. Frees us from having to have it all figured out. Frees us from having answers to everything. Frees us from always having to be right. It allows us to have moments when we come to the end of our ability to comprehend. Moments when the silence is enough."

As I have joined Church of Our Saviour and as we have begun to form a community of youth following Christ it is this that I cling to, it is that pure questioning that I hope to spark in the hearts of my youth, Abraham Joshua Heschel once said
'I did not ask for success, I asked for wonder.'

So as this blog begins to chronicle the journey that we are embarking on as a community that is what I pray for... wonder.