I am often shocked at the kind of person I am when I forget about the Lord's call on my life.
I am selfish.
I am superficial.
I am materialistic.
I am jealous.
I struggle with the grass is always greener affect. I think Facebook plays a huge role in that game in my life. I am able to see the vacations, the cars, the perfect looking marriages, the beautifully homes that my classmates have bought or built. And sometimes... that makes me mad. WHY NOT ME... why don't I have it all handed to me? Why must I be on a budget? Why do I clip coupons and shop at Ross?
As I sat in my small group bible study last week Thursday a woman I have some grass is greener envy towards said something that slapped me across the face
GOD DOESN'T PROMISE US SUCCESS
My immediate response was... YES HE DOES! but then I stepped by from my seat of entitlement and remembered that actually, he doesn't. God never promised me that I would own a huge house, or the wardrobe of my dreams, or a brand new Toyota Sequoia (and the money to fill it with gas). He promised me that he would provide what I needed. He promised me that if I followed His call on my life I would find joy. He promised me a family in Him that would love me exactly who I was.
Jay and I followed his call to Charlottesville and my human nature wanted that to mean that we would somehow have MORE than we did in Hawaii as a reward. That since we did this big thing for GOD he would give us big things.
Well he did... it just wasn't a new car.
I wake up daily knowing that my life has purpose.
My marriage is stronger.
I get college acceptance phone calls moments after the first line of 'Congratulations' is read.
I start my mornings with hot coffee, fresh bagels, and young people that love Christ.
I get paid to go on mission trips.
When I am sick... I am not only allowed to stay home and get well... but the staff prays for me.
It is completely appropriate to wear yoga pants and tie dye to work
I get to go to camp, sing songs, and watch middle schoolers meet Jesus
I have a beautiful wardrobe of Jesus t-shirts.
It may not be a huge house, or new car, or nordstrom's wardrobe but in the long run... these things are far more fulfilling that I would sometimes like to admit.
