a family of 3

It's amazing how we loose ourselves... I apparently lost Emily-the-non youth minister-self for a while. My youth ministry blog has been kept up, my text messaging with youth has been steady, but in the mean time I've begun to slowly drift away from other things I love and people that love me. Ministry can do that sometimes... then God brought me right back to reality.

I'm pregnant.

It's amazing how quickly your priorities fall into place where there is a precious gift growing inside of you. It's also amazing how weird that is but I will write about that another time.

So on December 19th, between church and our annual youth Christmas Caroling & Party I took
two

Yes... two

Pregnancy tests. They both said "hey maybe your pregnant or maybe your eye sight is going"

So a day later I went to my doctor, who bless her soul had me take another test that told us "you crazy girl... you're not pregnant" but because she believes in instinct, and heart, and listening to the small voice she said "let's take a blood test... just to be sure"

and by golly... I knew I wasn't crazy and we were pregnant.

Jay and I spent a few days with our secret, holding it tight like the delicate gift it was until we told our parents on Christmas day. They didn't see it coming, which made it even better. My mom was up at the crack of dawn to open presents with my nephews so we only had to wait until 1pm eastern time to tell them. Jay's parents had a late night and weren't up till later. It may be possible that he called them over 20 times to try to wake them up, but I'm not saying anything.

And in those moments... it became real. We will be a family of 3. Our parents are looking for names they want to be called. We are looking at names (and coming up with all the ways they can be turned into teasing in middle school). My youth know and love to tell me how weird it is. We stop in the baby section on Target instead of just the 'useless crap' section. And we are getting our first ultrasound on Monday to see this little thing.

And that is crazy, and grounding, and real like nothing I have ever experienced.

And no matter how distracted, and flighty, and disconnected I can feel at times... each morning I wake and my hand goes directly to my belly and I know that nothing has ever been this good. Ever.