Streamlining.

For 3 years I have tried to blog.  It has failed.  Epic epic failure.  As I looked to the new year I wanted my focus to be being PRESENT.  Being present for my own life.  I know myself, and I know to do that I need to write it out.  I knew that when I made two blogs a few years ago.  Emily's personal blog and Emily's youth ministry blog.  And both were epic failures.  Thank you for those who reminded me, you are the people I love most because you know I need to be called out.

For 3.5 years I have been trying to keep the distinction between Emily the friend/wife/sister/mom and Emily the youth minister.  Boundaries (which I am not saying I don't believe in but I am getting a little more realistic about) that I tried to keep to make my life manageable.

Well my life is NOT manageable.  

That has become pretty real for me.  I am a full time mom, full time youth minister, full time wife, full time daughter, and full time friend with a baby in childcare only 2 days a week.  I am one big ball of unmanaged mess.  But this is what it is right now.  This is what life looks like.  One big messy blog, filled with youth ministry rants and mama freak outs and life.  My vocation will never fit in the 9-5 world and it spills into my parenting and my marriage and my family.  And my family and my marriage and my parenting spill into my ministry.  It's not perfect.  It makes me feel guilty and blessed.  But it's all one.

So I've given up on trying to keep things in their neat compartments.  If I am living by my word in 2013
being present
it's going to be sloppy but it's going to be real.

and I figured out how to merge my blogs while AG ate lunch so bonus points for me today and successful multi-tasking and working at home with a 16 month old.